Pop Culture Curmudgeon

Are There No Drivers in LA?

Why don’t any of the celebrity barflies just hire a driver?

Two of our frequent DWIers–Kiefer Sutherland and Michelle Rodriguez–spent Christmas in the klink because of their inability to judge when they’ve had too much to drink. And many people talk about whether the sentences doled out in 2007 to celebs who drink and drive were fair, but no one seems to ask why they don’t just have chauffeurs take them to and from the clubs. Certainly, Paris Hilton and her ilk could afford to hire a driver. I would hire a driver if I could afford one. I’d much rather be able to text, chat on the phone, read scripts or a multitude of things other than driving when I’m in the car.

And don’t even get me started with Britney. Don’t the paps whose feet are in constant danger of being run over want to band together and hire a driver for her? Or maybe they were just hoping for steel-toed boots in their stockings this year.

Perhaps I should move to LA and start a service to match celebs with discreet drivers who would think it great to be paid to sit outside the current hot spots waiting until their charges needed to be taken to the after-party.